Something

Wanted to write something
To drop down some part of Life
Something I could refer to
Like how I'm looking back now
Seems childish But well
That's how it is isn't it?
I'm Almost 20 Which is gonna happen next year and looking back at this
This blog started off Almost 7? Years ago and really embarrassed to look back hahaha
I've accomplished something I want to do But there's still much more ...
Looking at my past
Hoping for motivation to move forward with more courage 😊

Depression

Well....
I think I got hunt down by depression lately and it seems like I can't get out of it at all. I want to know my effort is not wasted But unfortunately What I see is different from What I expected... I really felt betrayed by What I got and What I've done for it... everything... everything seems so worthless, meaningless, pathetic....  like Why even try?  Why even put time in it? In the end, it's just waste of time and it just keep hunts you down like you're such a big failure! I hate falling like this...  I dislike being punch back down and whatever I did to change it and it doesn't even seems like working... I hate to have no power to change...  to change that should have been change But well I failed to change it again this time and it's so hard to stand up again... Please  give me some motivation...  some hope or anything....

hey...

this blog..
never knew it still existed and there's so much in here
things I once thought that will never change
well... they all changed ...
I am part away from my so called best friends
we are well friends but we all move on in our life
and I've changed for sure
I think what I found out now
it's like reflecting how my mind evolve
how I used to think and how I've changed..
Things are different now
All of us grew up , All of us changed
Some gets boyfriend, Some lose theirs , Some gets new one as usual . Some are still waiting..
to the sisters I once think they are mine , well
we all grew up .

I become a girl who have so much hate in me
which makes me feel bad though in a way
I shouldn't think that way , but I just don't like it anymore
I'm not always happy
why do I pretend to be when I'm not
why is it me the only one in so many that have to do all these
why don't you see how much I've done ?
why can't you know I want other and not this...
why why why I have more why that even myself will be surprise
I just can't take it sometimes ,
but nothing , not even a thing is changed after so long ...
it's like no one sees it , no one appreciates it , no one cares even for a bit...
please tell me what to do....
God , I've became so bad ... didn't I?

teehee (:

today is like o.o TUESDAY xD these days had been redicilous ! SIAO !!!!! XD
very siao these days o.o many stuff happened xD stuff reli siao one (: it's been reli nice these days (: things never thought of will happen HAPPENED XD so i consider 2011 (: NICE lol new year is coming soon it's like 1 WEEK MORE XD are u guys ready yet? cause i'm so ready for it !! xD since it's holiday bah no one is not ready one lol (: NO HOMEWORKS ONE DAYS AH FINALLY XD i miss it !! xD lol NEW YEAR OH NEW YEAR COME COME XD (: lastly to someone (: meemeebo ^^ xD

2011 (: SCHOOL XD

there's many stuff happened in 2010 xD
AS I WAS SAYING YEAH XD it's finally 2011 teehee xD
and me ! me me me ! xD i got into pure science wheeee *show off show off * just joking xD
i gonna try my best study ^^ hehe ! if not o.o next year will be stresssssss ><
today is da first day of school not that bad (: just kinda boring cause we were listenin to taklimat like whole day
good thing is i got into pure science o.o CEKAP >.< aiks but o.o there's only ppl who take moral only (:
i'm not being racist or wat -.- xD just yeah (: hehe then YAH I'M SAME CLASS WITH AMANDA O.O
AND I CANT BE WITH LOVENA ANYMORE booo !! =( and kat she's in setia BOO MORE XD just jokin hehe
anyway i'm o.o ok with my class somehow NOT >< haha but that woman say she wont layan if we want change class to class like that boo her ! =p haha ^^
it's a new year (: STUDY HARD ! WORK HARD ! ACHIEVE WHAT YOU WANT !
LASTLY xD wish everyone ,fren o.o , my FAMILY , BEST frens and lala o.o HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR XD it's soon xD LOL yeah very soon xD ONE MONTH CHUN FROM NOW XD so excited hehe (: that's all for today TEEHEE XD have fun everyone ! (:

Everytime (:

today i gonna talk about everytime !! (:
lol ok let's start with something ^^
everytime I chat with you it makes me smile
everytime I tried to make up a convo with u (: it's nice that u tried too
everytime after I read yian ling's blog I'll update mine too (almost every) lol
everytime I read novel (: somehow I wish life could be that dramatic too XD
everytime I see you smile I smile too =)
everytime when u try to explain stuff to me although I don mind I just feel so warm
everytime when I hang around with my frens (: all I can think of is they're awesome :D
everytime Lovena called me her Lydia XD I can feel that this gal lol I can hang out with her =) like as long as I can (: maybe as long as I live? lol :D none-stop XD can't be apart (: stick together XD close fren? best fren? yah she's all of it (: so do sister TEEHEE xD love her much (: ♥♥♥
everytime I hang along with Amanda & Katrice lol it's like we can't be apart (: lol it's nice somehow having frens like these just like my sister ^^ ♥♥♥♥♥
everytime when sad things happened ): I'll try my best to think of the bright side (: and somehow that makes things better
there's so many everytime in my Life =)
lol AND I apperciate every of them (:
and yah everytime when I pray to God :) I'm full with hope and happy somehow
for today (: I wanna say something random XD
I miss Lovena quite much it had been days din see her (: maybe i'll post a post about her XD if this keep going on (:
and yah I ♥ all of them :) lol

Lalala (:

ok now it's Day 03 after my pmr
i'm kindna bored u see XD
first i though it will be FUN
but then i figure out it's so boring o.o
i got nth to do except online,watch movie,tv then online again
maybe u would said HUH !?!?! get a life la !!
but yah THAT'S MY LIFE !!!
anyway =p i seriously dislike it when ppl say get a life
everyone got their life ok o.o even though it's really BORING TYPE
STILL it's their life =p
i find out stayin at home is making me go crazy XD
wanna go out but kindna lazy o.o
but yah i'll still got out !!! lol
let's see wat i did for the past 2 days
first i watched the movies o.o i want to watch like desprately before
"vampire sucks" somehow o.o IT RELI SUCKS !! lol
then ETC ETC watever movie i watch la
i just spend my time like that
then go online chat craps with frens lol
owh wells FACEBOOK is wat i need to do like everyday =p
one more thing (:
i figure out guys with lovely smile really attract my attention alot XD
cool guys are NOT in the way ANYMORE XD
k i goin to spend my time ONLINE again lol
nth much to do wat (: LOL
beside the form 4 and 5 and 6 o.o XD and 1 and 2 so many "and" lol
they are HAVIN TEST remember pray for ur frens yah (:
that's ALL FOR TODAY XD maybe not o.o TEEHEE XD