Something

Wanted to write something
To drop down some part of Life
Something I could refer to
Like how I'm looking back now
Seems childish But well
That's how it is isn't it?
I'm Almost 20 Which is gonna happen next year and looking back at this
This blog started off Almost 7? Years ago and really embarrassed to look back hahaha
I've accomplished something I want to do But there's still much more ...
Looking at my past
Hoping for motivation to move forward with more courage 😊

Depression

Well....
I think I got hunt down by depression lately and it seems like I can't get out of it at all. I want to know my effort is not wasted But unfortunately What I see is different from What I expected... I really felt betrayed by What I got and What I've done for it... everything... everything seems so worthless, meaningless, pathetic....  like Why even try?  Why even put time in it? In the end, it's just waste of time and it just keep hunts you down like you're such a big failure! I hate falling like this...  I dislike being punch back down and whatever I did to change it and it doesn't even seems like working... I hate to have no power to change...  to change that should have been change But well I failed to change it again this time and it's so hard to stand up again... Please  give me some motivation...  some hope or anything....

hey...

this blog..
never knew it still existed and there's so much in here
things I once thought that will never change
well... they all changed ...
I am part away from my so called best friends
we are well friends but we all move on in our life
and I've changed for sure
I think what I found out now
it's like reflecting how my mind evolve
how I used to think and how I've changed..
Things are different now
All of us grew up , All of us changed
Some gets boyfriend, Some lose theirs , Some gets new one as usual . Some are still waiting..
to the sisters I once think they are mine , well
we all grew up .

I become a girl who have so much hate in me
which makes me feel bad though in a way
I shouldn't think that way , but I just don't like it anymore
I'm not always happy
why do I pretend to be when I'm not
why is it me the only one in so many that have to do all these
why don't you see how much I've done ?
why can't you know I want other and not this...
why why why I have more why that even myself will be surprise
I just can't take it sometimes ,
but nothing , not even a thing is changed after so long ...
it's like no one sees it , no one appreciates it , no one cares even for a bit...
please tell me what to do....
God , I've became so bad ... didn't I?

teehee (:

today is like o.o TUESDAY xD these days had been redicilous ! SIAO !!!!! XD
very siao these days o.o many stuff happened xD stuff reli siao one (: it's been reli nice these days (: things never thought of will happen HAPPENED XD so i consider 2011 (: NICE lol new year is coming soon it's like 1 WEEK MORE XD are u guys ready yet? cause i'm so ready for it !! xD since it's holiday bah no one is not ready one lol (: NO HOMEWORKS ONE DAYS AH FINALLY XD i miss it !! xD lol NEW YEAR OH NEW YEAR COME COME XD (: lastly to someone (: meemeebo ^^ xD

2011 (: SCHOOL XD

there's many stuff happened in 2010 xD
AS I WAS SAYING YEAH XD it's finally 2011 teehee xD
and me ! me me me ! xD i got into pure science wheeee *show off show off * just joking xD
i gonna try my best study ^^ hehe ! if not o.o next year will be stresssssss ><
today is da first day of school not that bad (: just kinda boring cause we were listenin to taklimat like whole day
good thing is i got into pure science o.o CEKAP >.< aiks but o.o there's only ppl who take moral only (:
i'm not being racist or wat -.- xD just yeah (: hehe then YAH I'M SAME CLASS WITH AMANDA O.O
AND I CANT BE WITH LOVENA ANYMORE booo !! =( and kat she's in setia BOO MORE XD just jokin hehe
anyway i'm o.o ok with my class somehow NOT >< haha but that woman say she wont layan if we want change class to class like that boo her ! =p haha ^^
it's a new year (: STUDY HARD ! WORK HARD ! ACHIEVE WHAT YOU WANT !
LASTLY xD wish everyone ,fren o.o , my FAMILY , BEST frens and lala o.o HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR XD it's soon xD LOL yeah very soon xD ONE MONTH CHUN FROM NOW XD so excited hehe (: that's all for today TEEHEE XD have fun everyone ! (:

Everytime (:

today i gonna talk about everytime !! (:
lol ok let's start with something ^^
everytime I chat with you it makes me smile
everytime I tried to make up a convo with u (: it's nice that u tried too
everytime after I read yian ling's blog I'll update mine too (almost every) lol
everytime I read novel (: somehow I wish life could be that dramatic too XD
everytime I see you smile I smile too =)
everytime when u try to explain stuff to me although I don mind I just feel so warm
everytime when I hang around with my frens (: all I can think of is they're awesome :D
everytime Lovena called me her Lydia XD I can feel that this gal lol I can hang out with her =) like as long as I can (: maybe as long as I live? lol :D none-stop XD can't be apart (: stick together XD close fren? best fren? yah she's all of it (: so do sister TEEHEE xD love her much (: ♥♥♥
everytime I hang along with Amanda & Katrice lol it's like we can't be apart (: lol it's nice somehow having frens like these just like my sister ^^ ♥♥♥♥♥
everytime when sad things happened ): I'll try my best to think of the bright side (: and somehow that makes things better
there's so many everytime in my Life =)
lol AND I apperciate every of them (:
and yah everytime when I pray to God :) I'm full with hope and happy somehow
for today (: I wanna say something random XD
I miss Lovena quite much it had been days din see her (: maybe i'll post a post about her XD if this keep going on (:
and yah I ♥ all of them :) lol

Lalala (:

ok now it's Day 03 after my pmr
i'm kindna bored u see XD
first i though it will be FUN
but then i figure out it's so boring o.o
i got nth to do except online,watch movie,tv then online again
maybe u would said HUH !?!?! get a life la !!
but yah THAT'S MY LIFE !!!
anyway =p i seriously dislike it when ppl say get a life
everyone got their life ok o.o even though it's really BORING TYPE
STILL it's their life =p
i find out stayin at home is making me go crazy XD
wanna go out but kindna lazy o.o
but yah i'll still got out !!! lol
let's see wat i did for the past 2 days
first i watched the movies o.o i want to watch like desprately before
"vampire sucks" somehow o.o IT RELI SUCKS !! lol
then ETC ETC watever movie i watch la
i just spend my time like that
then go online chat craps with frens lol
owh wells FACEBOOK is wat i need to do like everyday =p
one more thing (:
i figure out guys with lovely smile really attract my attention alot XD
cool guys are NOT in the way ANYMORE XD
k i goin to spend my time ONLINE again lol
nth much to do wat (: LOL
beside the form 4 and 5 and 6 o.o XD and 1 and 2 so many "and" lol
they are HAVIN TEST remember pray for ur frens yah (:
that's ALL FOR TODAY XD maybe not o.o TEEHEE XD

2 WEEKS :D

2 more weeks 2 more weeks
2 MORE WEEKS THEN I'M FREE XD
TOTALLY FREE (: 12/10/10 come faster yah
o.o owh wells i wanna go dancing :D swimmin ^^ && movies !!!
haha + work lol i wish i can find a nice one
it will be wonderful time I HOPE XD
work with someone o.o someone haha
know someone someone
I WAN TO DO SOMETHING NEW AT LEAST =P
for my one and only 15 !!!
something different (:
best perfect is the one who work with me XD
can be hot then i wont feel bored when workin XD
swt =p think too much haha
so fast one year almost over edi (:
haha few more months then we need to say BYE to 2010
and HELO to 2011
haha (: things will be fine durin my test I HOPE I PRAY ^^
so yah TEEHEE XD bye (:

XD these days !!

day by day
haha now it's so near PMR
yet what am i doing now o.o blogging lol
that's like so not right haha
but who cares ^^
tomorrow is going to be OUR PAMAREN DAY =D
so that mean ! going to have new pics soon =)
lol and yah these days were like AWESOME XD
everyday is kindna nice to me
friends =) i love u girls damn much LOL
and boy hahax wdv ! lol
so yah these days were nice
like it alot hahax
hope stuff keep going on ^^
BETWEEN goodluck to our pameran
hope it's going to be great haha
that's all =) lolx

Wheeee Time lol =)

hmm tat day was 5th of june =D
after 3 years yah finali saw maybelle again ^^
let's see it start up me go pick maybelle from her house =)
then we wait for ian then yah pergi SCR o.o makan lol
coz maybelle and i belum makan our lunch mah lolx

* IAN o.o timmin tak chun look weird lol* =p
then then kita pergi buy tickets =) meet some frens
lol they all straighten their hair o.o gah haha
then kita pergi kia kia wait ariena and ariestine
wait o.o NO NO haha we buy tickets first !! =) then baru SCR =p
kk wdv lol now is some pics with them =) I ♥ them o.o gah LOL =D

* we =) maybelle me ariena ariestine ^^ *

* another ONE =) US =D lol *

* maybelle and mii ^^ hehe*

* me and ariena =) *
that's all i guess ^^ lol
it's was a not bad day lah =) haha
BUT i waste alot ah >.< haiz =p
hahaha ^^
lalala =) THAT'S ALL K BYE ^^

2 movies in one day =)

i'm bored so yeah i decided to post something about yesterday
lolx kk let's start from the begining =)
me manda gideon and ian o.o decide go watch movieeee
then the time set was 1 haha I wan ppl be on time ^^
then i'm LATE lolx gah ! =) still kena suan by ian lorh lolx
then yahh o.o we spilt coz gideon don wan watch sherk o.o ian wan watch
then OF coz manda as his gf ~ == go watch with him lorh
and muah as a nice fren =) i watch with ian lorh lolx
keep bang on the chair <------ br="" did="" he="" what="">whole thinggy was shakin lol =p
then then =)
me and ian join audrey them watch nightmare blah..... lolx (forget name)
AND GUESS WHAT =) i got scared hahax !
and audrey and ian actuali think sien == lolx
CONCLUSION Lydia -------> bo ta,no guts at all
most of my time watching the movie lerh was hide ^^
anyway o.o me and audrey think ian and sam very gentlemen lorh
that's it i guess o.o =)
kindna tired also >.< when i reach home =p
sit too long maybe lolx =)
anyway i had a not bad day
hope u guys did too ^^ =D

=) lalala ^^

It's MaY =) !!
lolx so yeah
these days stuff is goin fine ^^
I needa start working hard larh lolx
test is so soon yet not even start to study !!
now i'm listenin "time for miracles" by adam lambert
somehow lolx i think it's kindna niceeeee hahax =)
i'm a cheerful person
that's what i think o.o hahax
I always think the bright side first
but then somehow at the end i keep thinkin bad stuff also
haha I appreciate what I have ^^
these days i've been watching the Love Life videos
and yeah compare to the kids who wanna live and yet suffering
I am so much more lucky
so yeah I shouldn't blame or complain about anything more
and I should appreciate what I had edi =p
these days lots of stuff happened
and yeah thx Lord God for heard what I pray =)
things now is goin fine and yah
test is not over yet and I edi had my holiday mood
that's kindna not good lolx !! =p ^^
Lastly !!!!!!!! =D ( I mean for this post ) lolx
I'm a lucky person =)
AND !!!! I LOVE LIFE !!! ♥ ♥ ♥ =D ^^

These Days ~ =)

I'm having a not bad mood now haha
well I find out something that I always wonder
I actually feel better =)
and that's a good thing
well I'm not jealous I didn't feel sucks
so yeah I like that lolx haha
find out what I'm trying to do
it's erm dumb haha !
like I said I want to follow my feeling
and yeah =) I did what I said
I don't force myself again it's kindna dumb & stupid
yah well what to do right? lolx
I'm always like that ~ I really wonder why haha
nvm =) I'm happy with what I got
so yeah ! haha I don't ask for much =) hehe

trying appreciate what I had =)

today I had an awesome day with ariena,ariestine,advante,jacelyn and her sis
we had fun eventhough we din do anything like play computer
or watch tv =) haha we listen to music so yeah it was fun
I appreciate what I had
and I know that I should thank My God
these days ~ I see through kindna lots stuff
life is short ~ there's no point hating each other or what
we never know what's goin to happen next
so ~ appreciate what you had now
try to do something for the one you care and love
you don't need to tell them I love You
but prove to them , show to them that You Love Them
always pray to God when you suffer any stuff
cause somehow it help alot =)
there's must be a point that we're on this Earth
so yeah ~ appreciate what u had
do what u want =) cause somehow everything happens for a reason
so Enjoy Your Life while You Can =) but aint that easy like what we said
>.< anyway =) I Hope that I can Try My Best To Appreciate What I had =)

My Special day ~ Hapi B'day Lydia ! haha =)

hahaha today ~ is my b'day =)
as what I always do =) haha
I say hapi b'day to myself haha
this year ~ as usual ! haha
I celebrate it ~ with myself and internet
hahahahaha
but it's okay =]
no special things goin on also
it seems like just another normal day
no cakes or wdv la haha
but as I said before
haha there's always something to be thankful =)
and i'm being thankyou cause I still like have my b'day =)
Thank God =) I apperciate what I have now haha
but still ! haha today is my special day =)
hahahahaha well hope everyone had a nice day haha =D

Be Thankful =)

lol these days keep on telling myself
to be thankful for what God had gave me =)
Thankyou God for giving me eveything I had
my frens, wisdom and my life
everything that You gave just being great and nice =D
I'm learning how to be thankful =p
anyway new year is soon ~
WISH EVERYONE ! HAPPY NEW YEAR LOL ! =D
and always remember there's always something to be thankful =p =D

Thx ! =D

Life keep going on =D
well now ~
I got nth to complain actually
I got my good frens B F F F F F F LOL
stand for 6 of us orh lol and yeah
thx to some ppl =P
Lovena: thx for being my side when i need u
Esther: you're always smiling to me or tell me what to do when i need someone to tell me what to do =D
Ah yen: THX FOR THE 11 YEARS FRIENDSHIP =D u make me think i'm old old lol
Lan ching: I get to know u more in Form 2 but yeah i think ur nice =D u teach me alot also hahaha
Chang Ying: you're always so cute and funny
Katrice: Your advice always help
Dennis: weird guy but u're always the funny one =p
Xiao zhe : thx for chating with me so long lol u help me grow up a lot =p no more kids time haha need to think MATURE ! lol =p
Yian Ling: you're nice fren =D haha
Joyce: YOU'RE SO CUTE LA lol always being so straight be what u want do what u think and just spoke everything out from ur head =D hahaha
Maybelle: I miss you so much >.< lol
Jacelyn: I'll miss you why u must go haiz >.< lol wish to see u ~ in future =D
there's so many many ppl ~ but now i only can think of these LOL
THX EVERYONE ! WITHOUT U GUYS ! My LIFE will be imperfect =D

Laziness~

well these days I'm getting more lazy and lazy than each day
the times i online also getting more and more
and it's so not good
I need to work hard >.<
I MUST !
for my own good of course
well ~ sometimes
how I wish there's no test
it's only making ppl stress
and the psk also >.<
I DON'T LIKE PAMERAN LA !
eventhough we don't get to like study in class
but still a Pameran need a lot of hard work
I don't like it >.<
haiz haiz ~ LIFE !
why ppl is making LIFE so hard !
well the only time that makes me feel better
was the only time when I hearing the church songs
It's really nice I really like =D
what can do except work hard? haiz >.<

Stress =P haiz

this year I just can say STRESS
every teacher came in ~ first thing they talk about PMR
I felt STRESS la it's like CAN STOP TALK ABOUT THAT FACT =P
haiz ! I have to do all my homework also and it's like so many
and I don't like it ! + I dislike my sejarah teacher !
Now I wonder How I get good marks liao
and ! the BM teacher also ! she can blah more =P and she's abit like anti-english o.o
I TRY TO TELL MYSELF
if u did ur best don't worry BUT still i 'm very nervous ALWAYS
like everyday ah ! that feel haiz ! don't like that feel D=
Hope life can get better =D

Taggg~ =P

個人題
01 你叫什么: Lydia
02 你的綽號: Rydia
03 你的血型: no idea
04 你的星座: pisces
05 你是男還是女: Gal of coz
06 你幾歲: 14
07 你住哪裡: kuching
08 你現在的學校: SMK BATU LINTANG
09 你有沒有手機: got =P

朋友題
11 你最要好的朋友（限１個）: I have like ermm 2 i think =P
12 你最討厭的人（限１個）: no idea

愛情題
21 你有沒有喜欢的人: NOPE =D
22 到目前為止，有跟别人告白吗？: ermm no I think =P
23 到目前為止，你被多少人告白過: no idea
24 到目前為止，你交過多少個男／女朋友: nope ( zero ) haha
25 現在有另一半吗: nope
26 你最好的同性朋友跟你告白你会怎样: I tell her I like you too as a friend of coz
27 你初恋情人突然跟你告白你会接受吗: well it's a MAYBE u know =P
28 你为什么会喜欢你現在喜欢的人: o.o
29 你和另一半牵手过吗: nope
31 你跟异性牵手过吗: ya just hold hands ~ nth much ==
34 是谁，你们什么关系: cousin and another one is friend i think == dun remember =P
35 现在有人在追你吗？: NO ! haha

混合題
36 如果有天，好朋友离你而去，你会: well I'll be sad that's it
37 如果有天，好朋友背叛你，你会: I'll ignore he or she well if she/he too over i might revenge
38 如果有天，好朋友对你喜新厌旧，你会: well there's always new friends what =P
39 如果你很受不了你的父母，你会離家出走吗: I will for sure =P ( stilla maybe actually haha)
40 你上课認真吗: depends
41 你功課好不好: ermm ok la
42 你开电脑都在干嘛: blog + chat + read stuff + read blog+ watch youtube+ game erm lot more
43 你的即时通有多少个同性: no idea
44 你的即時通裡有多少個異性: no idea =P

兇手題
45 传給你这份问卷的人是谁: Esta (coz there's 2 and the one who send me is Esta =P )
46 这個人對你好不好: hmm NOT BAD ! haha =P
47 這個人是你的誰: well she call me darling ~ haha she's my close friend =P
48 你有喜欢过這個人吗: o.o i like her just like she's my close friend =P hahaha
49 你们认识多久了: 10 years ~ next year goin to be like 11 =P
50 這個人是怎样的人: she's ermm nice ~ friend enough haha =P
51 这个人正／帥吗: well pretty and handsome both can use on her =P
52 這個人跟你有沒有在一起过: o.o haha no ~ walk together got la chat oso got haha
53 万一你喜欢這個人，你会怎么办: well I always like her as a friend haha =P

聯想題
54 說到正妹你会想到谁: maybe the boy in tokio hotel ~ he's pretty than gal haha ^^
55 說到帥哥你会想到谁: well ermm duno haha think for fews minutes i got no answer haiz =P
56 說到憨你会想到谁: esther haha she's always blur blur =P
57 說到痴你会想到谁: o.o maybe esther oso haha sometime she's like that for wei yen =P
58 說到暗恋你会想到谁: =P
59 說到出去玩你会想到谁: friends of coz =P
60 說到聪明鬼你会想到谁: Alex and Eric ( from science tuition)
61 說到傻子你会想到谁: lan ching maybe (she's haha =P) myself oso I stupiak ! haha =P
62 說到笑点低你会想到谁: ermm no idea =P
63 說到愛笑你会想到谁: esther ~ me? katrice and who more o.o =P
學校題
64 你的班导是谁: Cikgu Thian
65 你的座位是第几排第几个: duno dun wanna go n count
66 你最喜欢的老師是谁: Cikgu Goh
67 你的英文好吗: ok la =P
68 你的体育好吗: nope
69 你的数学好么: ok la
70 你喜不喜欢你的校长: ermm no haha he got big red nose =P
71 你的学校好看吗: okla =P
72 你的班級是: 2 Setia
73 你的班級在几楼: 3
74 填后感: ermm need lot time and susah coz lots of questions =P

1 不填代表你不尊重传給你的人和问卷
2 請老实的回答每一個问題
3 不行擅自塗改題目
4 写完请点5位朋友，不可不点
5 点完后请通知那些朋友他们被点到了COPY 题目到你的BLOG慢慢填吧。

1)someone
2)someone
3)someone
4)someone
5)someone =P DUNO WHO TO TAG HAHA =P